My experience of imposter syndrome

Navigating medical school can be challenging, both clinically and personally. One of the issues many doctors and dentists face is imposter syndrome, resulting in feelings of anxiety and self-doubt.

In this blog, Charlie Pearson, current F1, candidly shares his experience of imposter syndrome – and how he managed it throughout his university career.

It’s a bit of a cliché to talk about the importance of looking after yourself throughout medical school. There can be no gain without pain and the intensity of the experience is no secret.

Stress and intensity can be positive - however, ‘healthy’ stress can easily turn into unhealthy stress and begin impacting other areas of your life. As with many things, there are various reasons why this might happen.

Managing competitiveness

We all have a natural degree of competitiveness, but when you begin medical school, your course mates really do become your competitors.

This became evident during my first year when grade boundaries were set based on cohort performance. This isn’t abnormal, but being regularly assessed in relation to those around you does invite comparison – even subconsciously.

I found that I would start to pay attention to those spending more time in the library than me, or those who had the self-control to say no to a Wednesday social. This exacerbated the self-doubt I already had.

My anxiety around revision and looming exams would escalate and I would start procrastinating, putting off doing work as it would increase my stress levels. However, not working would also increase my stress levels. Eventually the exam would come and go, and concerns would abate.

Avoiding comparison

This cycle of behaviour would continue for longer than it needed to. It’s important to realise that everyone is different, and therefore everyone works differently too. I would see a small snippet of someone’s day and easily make assumptions about the rest of it. I would often miss that they too might be struggling in similar ways.

What was needed was the confidence to trust in the way I worked. It’s easy to fixate on time, as that’s often how we measure efficiency. I didn’t find working for hours at a time useful, but struggled with the idea that I should always be doing more. This created a lot of turmoil when it came to exams.

Building a support network

In part, this simply improved with time. But it also improved because I took time to reflect with friends who were in the same position.

Discussing work and exams is usually bottom of the list for people, but talking about your experiences and feelings with others who relate can help deepen your understanding of your own problems.

It can feel like challenges are only happening to you in that moment, but everyone will face tough times. Opening up to people can be a way to positively combat this assumption. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become at showing vulnerability.

The support available is there to be used. Develop a good relationship with your personal tutor. Don’t just meet them when you need to tick the box – meet them with the aim of building trust.

Your university wants you to be well and will support you if you speak out. This is only possible if you can recognise how you’re feeling, so it’s a good idea to get into the habit of reflecting on your own experiences.

If you would like to listen to more of your peers sharing how they manage their wellbeing, head over to our YouTube channel. Here you’ll find more on managing wellbeing and transitioning from university to working life.